A-Z Meme
A - Age: 38 B - Bed size: King C - Chore you hate: Cleaning the cat box D - Dad’s name: Eric E - Essential start your day item: Morning meditation F - Favorite color: I’m colorblind, so grey G - Gold or Silver: Silver H - Height: 6’ I - Instruments you play(ed): Guitar, drums, piano J - Job title: Senior Technical Writer K - Kids: one - All girls, 3. Twins 5, Older 8 L - Living arrangements: House M - Mom’s name: Maryann N - Nicknames: Spicoli, G, G$, William O - Overnight hospital stay other than births: None P - Pet Peeve: Biting fingernails R - Right or left handed: Right S - Siblings: Only child T - Time you wake up: 5 am U- Underwear: Boxer briefs V - Vegetable you dislike: All of them W - Ways you run late: I rarely run late X - X-rays you’ve had: Safe to say everything Y - Yummy food you make: Steak, Steak, Steak and omlettes Z - Zoo favorite: Monkeys
Here is the Official #Teamwilloffendyou Roster. Spots are filling up fast. If you have a special skill, let me know. This will be a standing post here and it will grow.
This is meant for fun and to mock all other stupid ass #Teams on Twitter. If you know me by now, this can be fun. If you dont get my attempt at humor, suck a dick.
Have fun with it. Come up with a position and let me know.
If you are on it and want off, let me know. If you are not on it and want on, also let me know.
Official Titles:
Muscle-
Big fat guy- Open
White guy that wants to be black- Open
Black guy that wants to be white- Open
Guy that gets shot every other day- Open
Boom box carrier + backup -
Creepy white guy-
Umbrella guy-
Bitches getting it on in the living room till six in the morning-
Hoes that put out but no housework-
Back up hoes-
Doesnt fit in any category-
HPOAS-
Obligatory chick that roller skates and jumps on trampolines-
Specialty Skills:
Tends to break shoddily constructed furniture during intercourse.
Official Librarian of #teamwilloffendyou
Official Cock sucker-
Goddamned mascotslut!
Can projectile vomit up to 20 feet-
dezzblack
On the team but never told me a skill-
“If I were President. I would Clean the earth. Because If we liTer, the World will Be cuverd In trash. So If we get Plastick bags and pick up the liter the word will Be clean. These are the things you can recycle: Paper, Plastik and glass. president EMILY”
I wouldnt treat it any different than how I live my life right now. Death is a part of life.
I would, however call my friends and family to tell them that I loved them.
I would love to hug my children one last time.
I would also get to a place that would be comfortable for me and easy for the people responsible for my body when I pass to move me.
If I knew and nobody else knew, I would not tell them.
I also would try to delete my Internet history and my Twitter account.
This was before we had kids, so I guess it probably was about 10 years ago. My wife and I used to have this thing to where the last person to bed has to turn off the lights in the house.
Sometimes we would get sneaky, go to the bathroom, say we would come back, but head to bed. Other times it was an all out footrace from the living room to the bed.
On one footrace evening, I gave her a little hip bump on accident and she went flying across the room as I dove into bed. She broke her little toe on the side of the dresser.
She also had to turn out the lights.
Broken toe or not, those were the rules.
I dont think I got any for a good month or so after that. There is really nothing you can do for a broken pinkey toe except for cutting it off. One of the things I remember saying to her is “Can’t you walk like a human?”
What I meant to say is that if you walk slower and regular instead of with a huge limp, then the rest of your body will not have to compensate. Oh well.
I used to teach ballroom dance at Fred Astaire dance studio.
The old joke is that I am good at weddings, but not good at marriage.
Sorry, I suck at this thing, but if there is anything that you want to know, feel free to ask. I havent answered a question in a while, feel free
TEN THINGS
Name – “William” Shhh it’s really Greg
Nicknames – G Money
Any birth marks - Yes
Hair color – Brown with grey. OK. Grey with brown
Natural hair color- Same
Eye color - Hazel
Height – 6’0
Mood – I don’t have them
Favorite color – I’m color blind
One Place You Want to Visit - Tokyo
TEN THIS OR THAT
Love or lust - Love
Cats or dogs – Both
A few best friends or many regular friends - Few best friends
Television or internet - Internet
Chinese or Indian food - Chinese
Wild night out or romantic night in – Romantic night in with a bunch of the old in and out
Money or Happiness - Happiness
Night or day - Day
MSN or phone - Phone
TEN HAVE YOU’S
Ever performed in front of a large crowd - Yes
Ever done drugs - Yes
Ever consumed alcohol - Yes
Ever Been on a dance team? No
Ever been on a sports team - Yes
Ever been in a drama play/production - Yes
Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? - No
Ever been in a rap video? - No
TEN LASTS
Last phone call you made – Twitter friend
Last person you hung out with - Daughter
Last person you tackled – Random person that was stealing from someone else. I’m the man.
Last person you IM’d - Coworker
Last person(s) you went to the movies with - Wife
Last thing you missed – My 2pm meeting
Last thing you ate – Does vagina count?
WOULD YOU RATHER
Pierce your nose or tongue? – Ewwww. neither
Be serious or be funny? - Funny
Drink whole or skim milk? - Skim
Spend time with your parents or enemies? – They are the same, right?
ARE YOU
Simple or complicated? - Complicated
DO YOU PREFER
Flowers or candy? - Neither
Gray or black? – I’m color blind remember?
Color or Black and white photos? – see above question, come on now, quit fucking with the retard.
Sunrise or sunset? - Sunrise
Staying up late or waking up early? - Waking up early
DO YOU PREFER
Sun or moon? - Sun
Left or right? - Three rights make a left
Sun or rain? - Sun
Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? - Vanilla
Vodka or Jack Daniels? - Vodka
Nervous Habits – Biting the inside of my cheek
Are you double jointed? - No
Can you twist your tongue around and roll it? - Yes, Ladies?
Can you raise one eyebrow? - Yes
Can you cross your eyes? - Yes
Do you make your bed daily? – I’m up and out of bed before wifey, she does though
QUESTIONS
Which shoe goes on first? – I don’t know, the first one I find
Ever thrown something at someone? - Yes
On average, how much money do you carry with you? – $150.00
What jewelry do you wear? - Wedding ring. Do cock rings count?
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - Twirl
Have you ever eaten Spam? - No
Favorite ice cream? – Butter Pecan
How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? - 4
What’s your favorite beverage? - Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi
Do you cook? - Yes
LASTS
Last Alcoholic Drink: Stella
Last Car ride: about an hour ago
Last Movie watched: Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses with my daughters
